In case you haven’t heard of the 5 love languages it is a book written by Gary Chapman. In said book he describes 5 different ways we as human beings show our affection towards our significant other.
- Acts of service
- quality time
- physical touch
- words of affirmation
- receiving gifts
Here are some of said languages represented by those who show love in the different ways:
Acts of Service
This type of love is showing the ones you love how you feel by doing whatever you can to make their lives a little easier. For example, my boyfriend partially shows his love and affection through acts of service. He will make my bed if he leaves after me, he’ll empty the dishwasher and cook dinner to show that he loves me. For these people actions speak louder than words. If your significant other experiences and shows love this way then they probably won’t be very verbally expressive.
T: “I like doing little things for my S/O. I like to try an make their day a little easier and show that I care under the radar. My affection may not be out in the open but I want them to know that it is always there.”
This type of love is all about giving our significant other your undivided attention. For these kinds of people, their time is the most valuable to them; so if they’re giving you time you should feel exceptionally special. These people may not show their love through affection, but if they are consistently sectioning off time in their day to meet you for lunch or maybe for coffee they have moved you to the top of their priority list.
A: “Listening to her and giving her time and attention. Because that’s what I want someone to do to me, give and take.”
M: “I like to show love by standard affection (hugs, kisses, cuddles) but most importantly I show love by making time. Time is one thing you give to a person and can never get back. Time is the most valuable thing in the world and if a man is willing to make time no matter the situation the girl is something really special.”
To this person, nothing means more than an appropriate touch. The people who show their love through this method will shower you with signs of their love through physical actions. If you aren’t a physical person dating someone who shows their love this way, you may run into a problem. Since this person shows love through a physical touch that usually means they accept love the same way.
E: “I’m a physical person but I also try to do little things to show I care, they might be subtle but I’ve always liked that aspect of a relationship, especially with someone I care about.”
S: “Um well I kiss a lot. And like touch. So I’ll pet my boyfriend, give him lots of little kisses all over his face and just bother him like that. I pet a lot. In other more intimate ways, I just tell him how I feel if the moment really takes me. Like I’ll look at him and just be like “wow you are so handsome” or just tell him he is such a sweetie. But mostly the little quirks I do with the kisses, and petting, and booping.”
Words of affirmation
These types of people feel the most loved when they are hearing how much another person cares about them. I am also one of these people who are more geared towards hearing words of affirmation in order to feel loved. To me, to be loved is to hear how much you mean to someone and to tell how much someone means to you in return. Since my boyfriend speaks the physical/acts of service language we bashed heads a few times earlier on in our relationship.
J: “I would say it’s probably tailored. Everyone is different, meaning every girl is different. I would say that based on my significant others mental, and physical needs, I would act in a way towards them that would make them feel loved. Some girls are really clingy and wanna be around you all the time and want you to be touchy and all that. Others want their space, no PDA, no nothing. Then I follow that. I’m pretty easy-going. But I would say to answer it most simply. I show love by being the person that creates happiness through spontaneity and simply an easy going personality, while at the same time keeping our goals in check and pushing each other to be the best that we can be. For each other”
The people who show and understand this type of love show they care by giving their significant other gifts, could be food could be jewelry it just depends. Is it just me or does this type of love remind you of what happens in the animal kingdom?
- Adelie penguins for example will present a pebble to the female of their affections. Pebbles are rare in the antarctic and are also used while nest building.Granted….the female still has to accept first 🙂 These gifts are a sign of commitment considering most penguins develop a nonvenomous relationship.
- Bowerbirds are a species of birds that create a love nest to attract their mates. The make it out of sticks and decorate with bones, rocks, and shells. Sometimes they even weave flower petals and shiny objects into the structure in hopes of attracting the attention and affection of the female.
A friend of mine shows her love this way:
C: “It goes beyond just actions or words, it reaches a level of intimacy and thoughtfulness that truly expresses that you love and care about that person. I try to get my significant other something funny or clever that I know he will like and be able to use practically. For Christmas I got him a gift to appeal to the 5 senses because “being with him makes perfect sense” I feel that it is the best way to show that I care. It doesn’t have to be expensive, I prioritize meaning”
Remember that not everyone shows love in the same way and while you may not think that someone is being affectionate towards you that doesn’t mean that they aren’t trying. It is not easy to try and translate someone else’s love language. Who knows? They may be showing you all the love they have, it may just seem like they don’t care since it’s not in your language.
Hugs and Kisses,