How to deal with Cheaters

Hello lovelies,

The discovery that your partner has cheated on you can bring you to a new low as you pick up the pieces left behind. It can be taxing on your mental and physical health and unfortunately it has affected more of us then it should’ve. I myself have experienced it and it really proved to me how strong I am as a person and sometimes events like this can show us how resilient we can be. The question on many people’s minds however, is whether or not the person who cheated deserves a second chance (if they want one) and that can be a loaded question. The phrase “cheaters never change” comes to mind but there are a few different things you need to consider. If you are thinking about giving this person a second chance here are a few important points to go over first:

  1. Are they truly remorseful?
    1. No mamby-pamby sorry but a heartfelt and truthful apology. If they don’t seem overly concerned with your feelings on the matter and only seem to be apologizing to get you off their back, then show them the door. If they really wanted to be forgiven they would put in the work to make you understand how sorry they are.
  2. Are they willing to comply with your list of demands?
    1. Many of those who are willing to give a cheater another chance will often create a list of things that he/she will have abide by in order to begin the process of gaining trust back and hopefully salvaging the relationship.
    2. Examples of what could be on the list is: Turning location on, avoiding drinking without you, checking in, and the most obvious being NO FURTHER CONTACT WITH THE PERSON THEY CHEATED ON YOU WITH.
  3. Do they seem to be putting in the effort to change?
    1. If they are copacetic to your list of demands with minimal complaints if any, then you may begin to see changes in their behavior in order to get back into your good graces.
    2. If they can’t follow a list of simple demands however, then cut em loose. If turning a location on or ceasing contact with the person they cheated on you with is so difficult then they clearly don’t care about the relationship enough to make it work.
  4. They understand that this is not a simple task.
    1.   The process of gaining someone’s trust can be trying let alone someone who’s trust you had but broke.
    2. It is not a 24-hour deal and if the cheater in your life can’t understand that trust has to be earned back then he/she doesn’t deserve a second chance with you.
    3. Also during this process, it may be best to abstain from physical contact as it can only complicate things further
  1. Would this be the best thing for you?
    1. You may love the person but it’s also a matter of whether or not you really an work things out as a couple. Something usually is wrong in the eyes of the person who cheated so it’s a matter of whether or not that something an be fixed
    2. Do you want to fix the relationship? I mean maybe this is a blessing in disguise and has given you the clarity on what you really want in life. Sometimes relationships although you may love the other person are not the best for you. Use this opportunity and really think things over before making any rash decisions.

The aftermath of cheating can be brutal on your physical and mental stability and hopefully through this article you an gather the courage to make the best decision for yourself.

Hugs and Kisses,