How to deal with Cheaters

Hello lovelies,

The discovery that your partner has cheated on you can bring you to a new low as you pick up the pieces left behind. It can be taxing on your mental and physical health and unfortunately it has affected more of us then it should’ve. I myself have experienced it and it really proved to me how strong I am as a person and sometimes events like this can show us how resilient we can be. The question on many people’s minds however, is whether or not the person who cheated deserves a second chance (if they want one) and that can be a loaded question. The phrase “cheaters never change” comes to mind but there are a few different things you need to consider. If you are thinking about giving this person a second chance here are a few important points to go over first:

  1. Are they truly remorseful?
    1. No mamby-pamby sorry but a heartfelt and truthful apology. If they don’t seem overly concerned with your feelings on the matter and only seem to be apologizing to get you off their back, then show them the door. If they really wanted to be forgiven they would put in the work to make you understand how sorry they are.
  2. Are they willing to comply with your list of demands?
    1. Many of those who are willing to give a cheater another chance will often create a list of things that he/she will have abide by in order to begin the process of gaining trust back and hopefully salvaging the relationship.
    2. Examples of what could be on the list is: Turning location on, avoiding drinking without you, checking in, and the most obvious being NO FURTHER CONTACT WITH THE PERSON THEY CHEATED ON YOU WITH.
  3. Do they seem to be putting in the effort to change?
    1. If they are copacetic to your list of demands with minimal complaints if any, then you may begin to see changes in their behavior in order to get back into your good graces.
    2. If they can’t follow a list of simple demands however, then cut em loose. If turning a location on or ceasing contact with the person they cheated on you with is so difficult then they clearly don’t care about the relationship enough to make it work.
  4. They understand that this is not a simple task.
    1.   The process of gaining someone’s trust can be trying let alone someone who’s trust you had but broke.
    2. It is not a 24-hour deal and if the cheater in your life can’t understand that trust has to be earned back then he/she doesn’t deserve a second chance with you.
    3. Also during this process, it may be best to abstain from physical contact as it can only complicate things further
  1. Would this be the best thing for you?
    1. You may love the person but it’s also a matter of whether or not you really an work things out as a couple. Something usually is wrong in the eyes of the person who cheated so it’s a matter of whether or not that something an be fixed
    2. Do you want to fix the relationship? I mean maybe this is a blessing in disguise and has given you the clarity on what you really want in life. Sometimes relationships although you may love the other person are not the best for you. Use this opportunity and really think things over before making any rash decisions.

The aftermath of cheating can be brutal on your physical and mental stability and hopefully through this article you an gather the courage to make the best decision for yourself.

Hugs and Kisses,

Aphrodite

Tips for Incoming Freshman

Hello my lovelies,

It’s about that time again! To those of us returning it’s a tad bittersweet wishing the summer goodbye, but for some it’s one big leap into the real world. Yes I’m talking about the college freshman. You’re stepping out on your own whether it’s hundreds of miles away like me, or just down the road, you are still going to be living on your own for the first time. So here are some helpful tidbits from someone who has walked in your shoes.

  1. You will make a lot of friends in the first few weeks. They will not all be your friend at the end of the year. People will come and go but those who are meant to stay in your life long-term will stay there. So do not be discouraged by this.
  2. Books are hella expensive no matter where you go so I would suggest looking online on amazon or chegg before resorting to your college’s bookstore.
  3. Finding a small part-time job may be best for you, because not only will it help you manage your time, but having a little extra cash never hurt.
  4. Go out but not too much. Make sure you don’t neglect your studying. Trust me on this, going on your freshman year will create wonderful memories. However, if you go out too much you’ll end up like me; almost being kicked out of school.
  5. Take so many pictures you won’t know what to do with them all. At first you may find it to be a pain but you will grateful for it when you are going to be a senior like I am.
  6. Get involved in clubs and activities on campus. Whether it be an honor society, sports team, greek organization, or more.  Not only are these a good way to meet people but they are good to put on your resume when you start to search for internships or jobs.
  7. Maybe hold off on dating until you get your bearings and figure out your surroundings. I can’t imagine adjusting to a new place and a new relationship, all while maintaining good grades and friendships.
  8.  Make sure you keep your mental health in mind. Freshman year move in can be a stressful time especially when you’re moving far away from home. I found it really difficult to focus on school let alone anything else when I was missing home.
  9. Roommates are fun but if you have the opportunity, living on your own can sometimes come as a blessing. You will really see a new side of yourself when you are living in an apartment by yourself. It is important that you live n your own at some point in your life before you decide to get married or you may feel like you missed out on something.
  10. Most importantly, HAVE FUN. This is an important part of your life. You will meet friends that you will keep for the rest of your life and you may meet the love of your life. You will learn so many new things and embrace new types of people with different opinions.

Good Luck y’all,

Aphrodite

Movie Night Anyone?

Hello Lovlies!

I know there are some of you who prefer to go all out and rage from sun up til sun down, all weekend long which is completely fine. However, for the rest of you who, like me, sometimes would rather a spend a calm/or relatively calm night in by yourself or with the girls, here is a list compiled by a friend of mine and I for a nice GNI. These 40 movies are the perfect solution to a boring night in:20170421_195526 (2)

  1. The Ugly Truth
  2. She’s the Man
  3. Sydney White
  4. Pretty Woman
  5. Dorfman in Love
  6. Confessions of a Shopoholic
  7. How to be Single
  8. 27 Dresses
  9. Letters to Juliet
  10. How to lose a guy in 10 days
  11. The Proposal
  12. The Holiday
  13. Clueless
  14. Freaky Friday
  15. 10 things I hate about you
  16. The Notebook (I hate putting this movie on this list)
  17. 13 going on 30
  18. Legally Blonde
  19. A Cinderella story
  20. Pretty in Pink
  21. The Princess Diaries
  22. Sweet Home Alabama
  23. Never been Kissed
  24. The Wedding Planner
  25. When in Rome
  26. Made of Honor
  27. When Harry met Sally
  28. Mamma Mia
  29. The Prince & Me
  30. Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
  31. Miss Congeniality
  32. Just go with it
  33. She’s all that
  34. Burlesque
  35. The Devil Wears Prada
  36. Bride Wars
  37. Sixteen Candles
  38. Dirty Dancing
  39. You Again
  40. Easy A
  41. Oceans 8
  42. To all the boys I’ve loved before

Extras to be added after the movie line-up has been selected include: popcorn, sugary snacks (for me anything chocolate or sour gummies usually does the trick), plenty of blankets & pillows to strew around. If phones are too distracting put them aside.

Enjoy!

Aphrodite