Thoughts on Love

Hello my lovelies,

I have a serious question, why has love become such a taboo. I don’t mean high school (we’re going to get married then proceed to break up before college love) or the (we don’t have anyone right now but don’t want to be alone so lets be together love). I mean the kind of love that causes a dull ache in your chest when the person makes you upset or when they kiss you & you feel like you’re weightless. The kind of love that causes you to feel a flutter in stomach when they look at you.

Don’t get me wrong, when someone has the chance to hold your heart in their hands & the choice of whether or not to break it or protect it, is terrifying. But as we grow up we are raised with Disney movies & fairy tales telling of a knight in shining armor racing to protect the princess & a common theme of happily ever after…However, as little girls grow & mature into young women we begin to realize that the type of unconditional & unrelenting love just doesn’t always exist. The story doesn’t always end up in a happily ever after & sometimes the frog that the princess kisses is just a frog.

Even the romantic comedies with no far away lands & charming royalty that are made to appeal to a more adult audience still don’t reveal that these scenarios are often few & far between.

But I digress, the point of this rant was not that I am a disbeliever in love because that could not be farther from the truth. I just think that the kind of love we are all conditioned to believe exists from a young age shows the beauty that love is the way a picture can be edited in Photoshop. It may show the overall beauty of the object but leaves out a lot of small details that could be considered flaws or not.

There should be a manual on different types of men with a guide on which to avoid & which to hold close. No more crying over a douche bag who told you he loved you while having sex with other girls on the side or no more being sidelined by an over possessive boyfriend who didn’t like you going out with friends. All could be avoided however, these boys unfortunately provide us with valuable life lessons. What I mean by this is that by dating these ingrates we start to understand the proper way we should be treated. So when that quirky guy with a sweet smile nervously asks you out you won’t be tempted to scoff at the poor sap who attempted to crawl his way out of the friend zone. Instead you feel your heart swell at the thought of your confidant, the guy you’ve cried to over how awful these men were and the guy who knows your favorite snack food for movie night would want to be with you.

We have come to expect so much of a certain type of love that when a guy is trying to show us he cares it tends to go right over our heads. We expect flowers & grand declarations to feel like a guy loves us because that is what we believe signifies real love. In the movies there is no fighting, the prince isn’t caught oogling a cute girl walking by, & he certainly would never EVER leave the toilet seat up. But ladies, our modern day princes have a lot to learn & sometimes we need to lead them in the right direction. Figure out what your love language is and figure out what your man’s is as well & go from there. If you are like me, someone who enjoys love letters & sappy stuff then being with a guy who’s language is acts of service may prove to be a bit of a struggle without recognizing that he shows love differently than you. For example, to someone like me, emptying the dishwasher without being asked or fixing my shelves may not seem to be an act of love but by understanding that some guys show affection by making life easier by taking some stuff of the to-do list than I can recognize what he is trying to say.

Unfortunately, men are not mind readers so if you want something to change you gotta let him know & we must understand that we are not living in a rom-com. Arguments will happen, flatulence may also happen but you need to see your man for what he truly is and what he is doing for you. Don’t take for granted the little things that he does just because it may not be your idea of romance but to him it might mean the world.

So in conclusion, we are not princesses, we cry irrationally at least once a month, eat incredible amounts of junk food & sob at the sappiest of love stories wishing our lives could be the same (ahem Disney I’m lookin’ at you)( & Netflix, to all the girls I’ve loved before..I wept). But then we look over at the guy we are probably forcing to watch these cheesy movies with us as he gives us that lopsided grin we can never resist & we understand. We may have been taught what the perfect romance could be, prince charming & gorgeous ball gown included, but we could never have been prepared for the type of romance perfect for each of us.

So ladies, hold your guys a little closer & recognize that while he may not be perfect. He may eat all your food & snore too loud but he loves you and tries to show you in the best way he can.

*Plus, when all else fails at least he’s got a great big……..heart ;)*

All my love,